I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
