i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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