I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We have started to decorate penises.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
