fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
