it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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