After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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