Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
