hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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