So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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