Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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