Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just google imaged poop.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
