Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize