suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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