Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
