I want to make a zoo with you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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