Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
