Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
