well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
