I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
