I'm really into asian looking animals
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
