he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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