If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
