The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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