I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
