I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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