i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
