Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no, he came in my armpit
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You are the jesus of drinking
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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