somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
vagina is talking i cant
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
