nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
