ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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