bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
