i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
