I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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