Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I would fuck him just for his dog
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
