There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
