to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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