summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
