i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
