Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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