i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
