It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
