Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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