a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
