i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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