I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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