shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
