I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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