the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize