I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
