Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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