Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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