Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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