My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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