try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
