I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
