Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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