well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
