Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
wow bdsm is so cute
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize