It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
