I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
