All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
