I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
