If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
