that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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