Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
