My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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