I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
