The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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