Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize